Thursday, November 18, 2010

2 Introverts Out to Lunch

Well, thanks for returning for day two of our social extravaganza. Today's topic of choice: Restaurant Etiquette. On a side note, today's original topic of choice was going to be the almighty important Bathroom Etiquette but since our "place o work" smelled of hash-browns Introvert 2 had an overwhelming urge to go out to eat for lunch and the rest, as you can tell, is history. 

As we ventured to the outside world to start our journey we had a decision to make...where in the hell were we to go? Well, to preface the executive decision made to subdue the uncontrollable desire to ingest said hash-brown smell,  Introvert 2 heard a commercial on the radio earlier this week about Denny's. As one would now assume Introvert 2 and myself went to Denny's to ingest nutrients. Well, nutrients may not be the correct terminology as having just told you that we went to Denny's so let me re-phrase and say "food schtuffs." Introvert 2 and I would prefer not to hear anymore on the subject matter of our choice to dine at Denny's seeing our boss, who we will so rightly name Captain Introvert, gave us an abundant amount of "poo" for going to said location. 

However, we are not here to discuss the particular location but rather what ensued at this location...ya know...within the walls of the dining establishment. What will follow should apply to all dining facilities throughout  the nation. We cannot speak of the worldly establishments per say, seeing they have different social  and cultural norms, but I digress. At any rate Introvert 2 and myself open the doors to our dinning palace and there it all began. 

First, we were greeted with slight attitude and a sense of condescending tones.  "Hi, ya'll you need to wait over there and someone THEN can help you." (what we will do here is dissect our experience and provide insight on to how our trip could have been over the top and left us wanting to come back...yes to Denny's) May we also note here that we are not experts on the ways of societal rules. We are not trying to say live by our demands. If you disagree with any of what we say we will kindly take your opinion and consider it...then most likely throw it in the garbage. Our main goal here is to do the following: See if anyone else agrees what we are talking about, notices what goes on in public or other areas of "life," provide guidance to those completely oblivious to the world around them, and to take suggestions and incorporate them into our blog. I have digressed again...sadly. 

Back to the original topic here...when a customer comes into your store you do not, I REPEAT DO NOT, want to greet them with a condescending attitude. Let us give a comparable scenario. I, Introvert 1, am at home. Introvert 2 is making his way over to work on a "project." My doorbells (yes I have more than one) ring. I jet to the door and swing it open with vigor (because I am so excited to see my co-worker outside of work). I say, " Hello, do come in,  may I take your coat and please make yourself at home." I then proceed to see if he needs anything. A hostess' job is to do the same thing with the exception of coat stealing. They are to greet you kindly and show you to your table. Then YOUR waitress (or waiter but lets face it serving is for women (jokes because Introvert 2 and I have jokes on jokes))(yes I mean YOURS because lets face it we have all experienced the Houdini Act, where your waitress is no longer your waitress, but another waitress is now indeed your waitress, only to have your waitress come back to be your waitress) should proceed to see if you need anything (you are probably going to have to read that last sentence out loud) but we digress.. again.


Secondly, please in the course of waiting on someone...do not be abundantly nice. We understand the concept of working for the tip but honestly folks, no one is happy to dishing up hot food and cold drinks to hundreds of people all night.Wear that smile but don't get all hopped up on the nitrous oxide before coming in for your shift (or w/e else puts the wind in your sails).


Use a logical deduction when coordinating proper agenda as a waitress. What we mean by this is don't bring hot syrup out for pancakes 10 minutes prior to arrival of pancakes...contrary to belief the syrup will get cold.


Reverting back to prior topic...if necessity rises to change waiters or waitresses mid meal do give proper introduction of new server. Confusion causes chaos.


Apologize. If something goes wrong...be sorry for it because it is your (as a server) or the establishment that you work for faults. It is still customary to follow the restaurant golden rule, the customer is never wrong. However, we would like to note here that it is not always the case and once again would like the server to use logic to deduce when this is the case. For example, at a math conference one would not stand up and shout out 2+2 is 7. This is not logical and not a time to do this. If you do happen to be at a math conference one day for some unknown reason and someone does shout out this absurdity...then it is logical to stand up and go, "you're a dumb dumb and it is in fact 4." I believe you get the point.


Ink smiles. Act of kindness or over the top? If you as a server is going to leave a smile on a check do so to ALL parties present at table. Really...??? Who is going to leave one smiley face on a party's check only to not leave it on that party's guest check. A server should treat each individual that comes in with a group as an equal to the next. It looks bad if you play favorites and ruins your tip from the person you don't smooze over.


Don't expect a tip or be suggestive of it...work for it. Its your job. We understand that it is your way to live but we do not see fit to leave a good tip if you did nothing to earn it. We all work for a money and no reason for you not to if you are a food service worker. Do not push your customers out the door either. We feel it is not polite to bring the check before someone is done eating unless so asked to do otherwise. It pressures the guests into hurrying. We would also like to leave a side note here to readers who are not in the food service industry...if there is a wait to eat DO NOT SIT THERE AND TALK FOR 3 DAYS! GET the crap OUT! Be courteous, please.


Is it just us or does the server know the most inconvenient time to ask you a question. It feels like my mouth has never been empty when asked a question from my server. It takes real skillz (yes with a z because its that intense).


As the guests wrap up their outing offer to-go drinks and to box their food. Its nice.


Holidays...not everyone is a Christian. This you should be trained on...just don't have tunnel vision. Open up and consider the other side of the fence.


Don't Stop Believin'




2i+ac











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