Wednesday, December 1, 2010

2 Introverts having an exchange....of words.

So, here we all are again. I, Introvert 1, thrive on awkwardness and thus this really isn't a huge deal for me but some of you will find it extremely awkward and uncomfortable to stumble upon. Yes, thats right...public argumentation. To me it seems that there is little that trumps a public argument on the awkward and inappropriate scale. When you stumble upon a public argument or one flares up in the middle of nowhere unexpectedly...its like being at dinner with the family and Daddy hits Mommy and we are still all trying to eat. Ya know...that awkward silence that then ensues. No? Well I guess you didn't come from the ghetto like me where spousal abuse was frequent and welcomed. Okay, I'm kidding.

On the other hand, am I, Introvert 2, the one that loves stumbling upon a couple arguing in public.  I find this post to be a bit contradicting, because it is so entertaining to see people fighting about stupid stuff.  I have even been known to egg on a fight if at all possible.

At any rate, an argument is a personal event and should be kept behind the confines of closed doors. No one really ever cares what Johnny did to Sally or how Sarah treated Jimmy's parents at Thanksgiving...other than the ones involved. I wasn't there eating dinner with your family so I don't care to hear about it. I am not your psychologist...or marriage counselor so please do not plague my life with you problems because everyone knows I have my own. 

Where, in the course of events, did you ever think it was okay to have a yelling match with the curse words flying out of your mouth along with the spit bubbles to subjecting everyone and their children standing in the produce section of the super market. Never, ever have an arguing match in the peanut butter and jelly aisle...children frequent this aisle. 

..."I'm peeking around the Intimate cookies and I'm watching the best nothing fight that I've ever been a part of. They're in eachother's face. Ok, and the guy is saying to the girl and he's doing it like this "Do we have any jelly in the house? Do we or do we not have jelly. You said we did last 
time. I'm looking in the cabinets and I dont see any god damn jelly. I just wanna know if we have any jelly in the house." And she's egging him on, she's like [girl voice] "I dont even like jelly. I dont even like jelly. I get hives if I even look at jelly. Wha--I dont even know about jelly. I've never 
even--What is jelly. I dont even care." And he's like "I dont even give a shit about the hives. I 
want jelly in the fuckin' house. Stat. Pronto. Tonite. I dont give a--I will break your neck and pour jelly all over your body and pray to the gods of jelly to burn your soul in a jelly like hell. Now get 
the jelly!" I'm so excited, I'm eating the Intimates out of the box. I've opened a box and I am 
eating. "I'll pay for it. Relax. I know you're concerned, but I paid." This is the point during the 
nothing fight that I like to get involved. I have to get involved and I have to say something. Just a little jab, a little poke that will fuel the fire. And help take it to the next level. As they're going 
back and forth, I walk buy them, I lean in, and I go like this, "hey dude, dude, dude, I know what you mean about the jelly bro. Tell this twat to get jelly. Now." [guy] "See, see! Get the jelly-Uh, 
whats that word again? What, Twat! Good word. Thanks bro. I didnt ev- I forgot about that word. GET THE JELLY TWAT! Great word dude, great word. Twat. Yes."

Don't Stop Believin'


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